On Tuesday, I spoke with my oldest friend and my newest friend. I reconnected with a friend from 1st grade when I was living in Houston, Rabbi Yisroel Cotlar. I know him for over 28 years. I used to go to his house on Shabbat and read his Where's Waldo books and play lego. We used to throw a Koosh ball back and forth for hours. Nowadays 10 year olds have IPhones. It is a different world.
My newest friend is (soon to be Rabbi) Jeff Stombaugh. We had a great discussion on Tuesday about a brilliant article by Rabbi Dan Smokler entitled Social by Design in All We Do. In the article Rabbi Smokler postulates
“If you want to influence someone’s behavior, it helps to ask who they know. Thanks to the groundbreaking research of Nick Christakis and others, there is now a mounting body of evidence showing that a range of our behaviors and attitudes are influenced by our social networks. Your friends help shape whether or not you smoke, if you can lose weight, how happy you say you are, where you live and what you buy.
So strong is the influence that if I know if your friends of friends of friends smoke – these are people you have never even met – I can predict with a better than random average if you will smoke as well. We are just beginning to understand how thinking socially can help build more vibrant Jewish life.”
In this week's parsha the task of creating a physical sanctuary for G-D is presented. This structure serves many purposes just like a Shul today. Both the Mishkan and a modern Shul are locations where communities connect, places to see and be seen. Israelites made pilgrimages to the Temple and camped around the Mishkan. These sanctuaries had a strong social aspect.
The Gemara in Makkos 10b rules that signs must be placed along the road indicating which path accidental murders should take to arrive at the cities of refuge. The Chofetz Chaim questioned why we don’t find a similar law requiring that signs be posted pointing the way to Yerushalayim for those on their way to fulfill the mitzvah of ascending to the Beis HaMikdash on Pesach, Shavuos, and Sukkos?
The Chofetz Chaim (preeminent Rabbi who lived in Eastern Europe 1839-1933) answered that a person on his way to a city of refuge, even if he is not an intentional murderer, is still not a moral role model to whom we want people to be exposed. Hashem wouldn’t have caused this to happen to a completely righteous person. We therefore provide directions for him so that he won’t have to stop to obtain them by interacting with innocent people.
On the other hand, the Medrash relates (Yalkut Shimoni Shmuel 1:1 77) that each year Elkanah would ascend to the Mishkan in Shiloh and share his plans with those he encountered. Thus encouraging them to join him in the mitzvah. Each time he would take a different path so as to enable all Jews to participate in the mitzvah. There are no signs pointing the way to Yerushalayim so that a person ascending there will be forced to ask the locals for directions, thereby enabling them to become exposed to the righteous and join them in the performance of mitzvos.
The environment that you grow up in, who your friends are, is essential to the formation of your personal identity. Your peer group Influences who you become. The Torah is keenly aware of this fact. In the first chapter of Tehillim and Mishlei (Psalms & Proverbs) we are told to keep away from evil people and bad influences. Your peer group becomes your character and your character becomes your destiny. It is not always what you know but who you know.
My newest friend is (soon to be Rabbi) Jeff Stombaugh. We had a great discussion on Tuesday about a brilliant article by Rabbi Dan Smokler entitled Social by Design in All We Do. In the article Rabbi Smokler postulates
“If you want to influence someone’s behavior, it helps to ask who they know. Thanks to the groundbreaking research of Nick Christakis and others, there is now a mounting body of evidence showing that a range of our behaviors and attitudes are influenced by our social networks. Your friends help shape whether or not you smoke, if you can lose weight, how happy you say you are, where you live and what you buy.
So strong is the influence that if I know if your friends of friends of friends smoke – these are people you have never even met – I can predict with a better than random average if you will smoke as well. We are just beginning to understand how thinking socially can help build more vibrant Jewish life.”
In this week's parsha the task of creating a physical sanctuary for G-D is presented. This structure serves many purposes just like a Shul today. Both the Mishkan and a modern Shul are locations where communities connect, places to see and be seen. Israelites made pilgrimages to the Temple and camped around the Mishkan. These sanctuaries had a strong social aspect.
The Gemara in Makkos 10b rules that signs must be placed along the road indicating which path accidental murders should take to arrive at the cities of refuge. The Chofetz Chaim questioned why we don’t find a similar law requiring that signs be posted pointing the way to Yerushalayim for those on their way to fulfill the mitzvah of ascending to the Beis HaMikdash on Pesach, Shavuos, and Sukkos?
The Chofetz Chaim (preeminent Rabbi who lived in Eastern Europe 1839-1933) answered that a person on his way to a city of refuge, even if he is not an intentional murderer, is still not a moral role model to whom we want people to be exposed. Hashem wouldn’t have caused this to happen to a completely righteous person. We therefore provide directions for him so that he won’t have to stop to obtain them by interacting with innocent people.
On the other hand, the Medrash relates (Yalkut Shimoni Shmuel 1:1 77) that each year Elkanah would ascend to the Mishkan in Shiloh and share his plans with those he encountered. Thus encouraging them to join him in the mitzvah. Each time he would take a different path so as to enable all Jews to participate in the mitzvah. There are no signs pointing the way to Yerushalayim so that a person ascending there will be forced to ask the locals for directions, thereby enabling them to become exposed to the righteous and join them in the performance of mitzvos.
The environment that you grow up in, who your friends are, is essential to the formation of your personal identity. Your peer group Influences who you become. The Torah is keenly aware of this fact. In the first chapter of Tehillim and Mishlei (Psalms & Proverbs) we are told to keep away from evil people and bad influences. Your peer group becomes your character and your character becomes your destiny. It is not always what you know but who you know.